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What to Say to Someone Who Likes You

What to Say When a Person Likes You. The beginning stages of a relationship are fraught with conflict for many of us. Staying positive, you can usually find some relief in one-on-one chats with loved ones or a friend. You’re also likely to relax when reading fiction or watching a movie. But what about in real life? You’ve found a person who is interested in you, but your natural inclination is to recoil and go on the defensive. Here’s how to respond when a person likes you—or when you just find yourself attracted to someone.

Should I Say Something?

Have a conversation with that person, even if you’re both interested in the other, for many good reasons. Ask open-ended questions to encourage them to open up and let you know how they’re feeling, and then follow up with a simple, “It sounds like you have a great interest in what I’ve said. Do you think I’m attractive?” You don’t need to offer your number, but they may respond well to the compliment. With that said, a more natural thing to say is something like “Wow, I like your shirt. What else would you recommend?” If you have a schedule conflict, you can also ask to set up a time that is more convenient for them to see you.

Should I Say It to the Whole Group?

It may not be your responsibility to put yourself out there at a party or gathering. If you have a strong, positive vibe and the feeling that you want to put yourself out there, you can do so. Just be mindful of the social dynamics of the situation, and be thoughtful of others who may feel less comfortable. At the same time, you may not be able to be as natural. If it’s more your comfort zone to be more quiet and listen than talk, you can, but be mindful of the potential downsides.

Should I Set Up a Future Date with Them?

In a lot of situations, you can’t touch on that subject. If you don’t want to be a player, at least be mindful of your intentions. You don’t need to set up a future date with someone unless there’s a mutual interest to do so. While you may enjoy the company of this person, you don’t necessarily need to take any further steps to spend time with them. You may be showing interest out of habit or because you’re around them all the time. But those
Know Your Game

There are a million books devoted to this subject. (I’m not lying. A million.)

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Unfortunately, most of these books have the opposite of the intended effect. The method is usually to write extremely specific guidelines about how to flirt with specific people in a specific setting. This type of book will walk you through everything, from the tools that you’ll need to use and the tricks you’ll need to play to exactly how you should approach someone who you’ve just met. While it’s important to have some ideas about how to set up shop and insert yourself into a conversation, it’s also important to understand that the best laid plans go out the window when you meet someone who completely changes the game. If you feel yourself walking down a dating path that you aren’t comfortable with, the key is to just go with it. In life, as in dating, we have to learn to trust our instincts.

Trust Your Instincts

This is the first thing I want to say about dating: Most of the time, if you have a good idea of what you’re looking for, you’ll spot it a mile away. If you have a hunch about someone before you see them in person, you should think about listening to that feeling. Sometimes, you’ll be absolutely right about someone. And you’ll immediately fall for them. Sometimes, you’ll be absolutely wrong about someone and end up only wasting your time. The key is to trust your instincts. If you feel like this is the person you’ve been waiting for your whole life, it probably is. Don’t be afraid to go for it.

Know Your Gaps

Forget what you’ve read. There are lots of books out there that tell you about the bones and muscle structures of what a relationship is. The thing is, while it’s extremely valuable information, many of them can lead to a lot of false hope. They’ll walk you through the theory of exactly what a man and a woman should be looking for in a partner, but they won’t teach you how to discover if any of that actually exists.

What we’re talking about here is the real thing. The physical aspects of a relationship are only what couples do together. They may be mutually appreciated, or they may come with baggage. But the make-up of the whole package is what’s most important.

(Image credit: Thinkstock)

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